Fake = Weird

It's no secret that I am not a nice person. I'll give you hot and even super fun, but nice? Not so much.

I realized the extent to which I'm hideous when I got called out for my tough stance on faux accents. Evidently, most people are neutral about this subject. They site such kindnesses as, "Oh, he's just an Anglophile" or "It's just an accent" as a dismissal of my revulsion. But you know I what I say? Agree to disagree, hos! Because dude, fake accents are completely effing creepy. I just think that pretending to be from another country or that you just "picked up" an accent is serial killer material! I mean, it's one thing if you grew up in another country as a child, but if you studied abroad? SHUT THE FUCK UP! How stupid do you think I am? Oh my GOD, it's insulting!

Not to mention that faking an accent is psycho and pretentious and just…just gives me the total wig! You've gotta be hiding something from people if you create such an elaborate (and totally easily revealed) façade. Something like dead and stinky chipmunk bodies in your closet. Gross!

I don't know man. I'm sure they're just really insecure people who hate themselves and wish they were cool and exotic like the Aussies, but man! You have to BE an Aussie to be so wicked! Don't they know this?! Gaaah!

Regardless, it is clear that I am just not nice enough to look past the fakey fakerson.