Mill the Tread

At work, we did this fun little project where we made slides with silly pictures and bullet points about ourselves so that the remote branches of our company can get to know us a bit. I was epically proud of mine:

However, in the process of making it, I had to scroll through like 50 pictures of myself (that were all totally work-inappropriate...typical) and came across this one from a few years ago when I was running every day and I was like, SHIT:

I need to get back on the motherfucking treadmill.

Now I realize that I was 24 and that it is, in fact, an exceptionally flattering pic, but crap! My calves look killer. So killer that one time, some ass-stain once posted a MySpace comment on it that really speaks for itself:

I mean what the shit, right?! You tryin' to say you think I don't look GOOD in person, cocksucker? JESUS FUCK. I've fucking seen YOU several times, tea bag, and I must say...you always look like a baby rapist!

Ah, but I digress! I'm back to running, bitches, so look for my hawt calves again soon, in photo and irl, for they are germinating!