Playing shows is so radical. It really is kind of a mind fuck because by day, I am Corporate Barbie…perky in my biznazz casual and attending meetings. Then I go home and fester with my spinster-lady cats and watch Boston Legal and lust after Spader. I am decidedly not a cool person. At all.
Bu then, I get on stage with my kick ass rock band and suddenly, for like 45 minutes, I am the cool kid, which is unprecedented! Case in point: once, I stepped off the stage and this beautiful brunette shoved me up against a wall and said, “I’m completely in love with you.” I was like YES! Even chicks dig me! Ah, but bright and early the next day, I was Boring Cubicle Troll Girl once again.
However, that was when we played a halfway good venue. Lately, we’ve been rocking the ‘burbs, which is about as productive as rocking the morgue. Last week, we played The Grossest Venue Ever, complete with Creepy Underage Boys and Heinous Lighting. It was so upsetting. Not only was the floor suspiciously sticky and the drinks outrageously priced, but fourteen whole people showed up. Fourteen! Well, and two freaky half people came as well…whatever. It was hot. So hot, I nearly barfed on myself.
So I have demanded that we play better venues. Ok, well not so much demanded but suggested. Like so maybe the kick ass rock band members will think it was their idea to not play toilet seat bars anymore because damn it, if I only get to be halfway cool for one hour a month, I want to be really effing cool for that hour! Bitches!
Bacon Dress
It's hawter than yours.
