I Said DAMN...God Damn!
Ah, Vegas. Debauchery, diva hair, and deliciousness. I couldn’t love it more. We were so dangerously hot that I’m surprised that so few of us actually did get laid. Morals. *Scoff.* Staying faithful to one’s boyfriend. *Scoff.* But we did get so much attention that it was offensive. Hooray!
We stayed at the lovely the Paris Las Vegas and spent the majority of our days lounging by the poolside. I fried myself to a crispy Paris Hilton red and had to cake on Leslie’s foundation all over my shockingly white tan lines. It was hot.
Amanda and I won $42 at roulette, but only after the freaky dealer made me turn around so he could “read” the Mizzou logo on my ass. Hey. Whatever it takes to sway the dealer, right? And we had awesome dinners at Country Kitchen-esque restaurants. Mmmm mmm! I love me some calico bean soup! I ended our Friday by challenging Ashley’s Best Lap Dance Ever and gave a performance for Amanda that caught the attention of the entire club. It’s so fun to be slutty!
We partied like total rock stars on Saturday at Rain and Ghost Bar in the Palms. Our Sugar Daddy Rick introduced us to his friend who was serious VIP. We were all decked out and breezed past the long ass line like we were in a Quentin Tarantino slow motion sequence. Everybody stared at us like we were famous. Little did they know that we are famous. In my world. While lounging around in the VIP section, we saw AC Slater (that cheating douche face, ) Brandy, and Christina Aguilera. She was way cuter and tinier than you’d expect.
It was such a blast and so scandalous. Scandalous for reasons that I will leave to your imagination, because what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. But wouldn’t you like to know….
