I'm apartment hunting, and we all know what a party that is. Well, I made an appointment to see one at 10th and Holmes…A cool little section of downtown with lots of rockin' old federal buildings and fun bars close by. So when I dragged Nellorz with me to go see it, we were kind of excited, right?
FALSE.
It was a fucking crack den. Like, people stretched out on the sidewalk outside, wandering around the lobby with cigarettes hanging out of their mouths, and like…skankville apartments. I could have kicked down one of the doors to break in and mutilate someone if I so chose. And judging from our delightful little experience in the "laundry room," which is better described as a "gross butt crack," that's exactly what would happen to me if I lived there.
Seriously, there was this chick loitering by the washing machine, wearing a shower cap just on the very top of her head as if it were a yamaka with the rest of her hair dangling below. She looked like a god damn jelly fish. So she saw us and said, "Hmmmwhatr yuu doon herre?" Um. Right. So we told her. And she said, "Hhhmmmwhered yuu come frum?" And Nelle and I looked at each other in what-the-fuck-ness and told her. And she goes, "Didjoo say Bannister Mall?" And we go, um, NO. Then she looks at us with narrowed eyes and informs us that, "Bannister Mall izz clozzzedahumm."
Oh. Dear. God. If this is any indication oh how this hunt will pan out, I'm totally just gonna put my shit in storage and go to Europe indefinitely!
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