Cars Suck Bull Rhino Balls

Car accidents are super gay. I've had two in my life, and both were hideously hideous experiences. The first was not my fault. I was 17 years old and driving home from a high school play rehearsal. I was minding my own business and rocking out to STP in my hawt little Civic, when BOOM. This senile old skank turned left from the right-hand lane and smashed into my car. The engine dropped out, saving my legs from being crushed, and I sat there looking at the hood of my car peeled up over my windshield. My car was totaled, but we both were fine, thanks to Honda's solid engineering.

The next accident was my fault. It was a very minor, but irritating fender bender. And you know what? That bitch was SO FUCKING HATEFUL to me that you'd think I'd murdered her entire family at Christmas time, and fucked their corpses under the damn tree instead of pulling too far out into an intersection. It's not like I thought, you know what would be fun? To hit some whore, fuck up my car, and raise my car insurance. Especially, THAT whore right there. Just to ruin her stupid day. 'Cuz you know, I did it on purpose. It's not like it's called an accident for a reason.

To this day, I still hate senior citizen drivers who are too smacked out on Parkinson's meds to drive properly. Why we don't make people take the driver's test every 10 years is beyond me. And also, I sincerely hope that tvile martyr cunt is responsible for a car accident in which she kills someone someday. Only that someone is a child molester, but nobody knows, so she feels like ASS for ALL ETERNITY.

Moral of the story: Be cool when you get into a car accident, bitches. It's inevitable, so have some damn insurance, quit driving when you're too ancient to function, and go kill yourself if you can't be gracious when somebody accidentally hits you.