Big Like Buffalo...Long Like Snake
Ciao, my naughties!
I finally got into Florence today. Jesus Christ. Why is travelling between European countires such a biyotch?
Seriously, my train was cancelled and I was FORCED to take a horrendous bus to Milan. Fortunately, I made a great new friend named Paula, who is some big wig in the entertainment industry. So, Paula insisted that I join her and her friends in Milan where we partied like total rockstars. It was SO fun, despite the Ninth Circle of Hell, (a.k.a Tha Bus.) All of her friends were artists and designers and they had the most fabulous apartments in the history of the world. We ended up smoking weed on this Danish guy's rooftop at 4AM. Clearly, it turned out ok after all!
So I thought I'd be learning all kinds of life lessons on this trip, like you can always depend on the kindness of strangers and you can get around just fine on your own, but the two most important things I've picked up so far are:
1. Don't step on the wet spots on the sidewalk...they're dog excretions.
2. I have above average ta tas!
The beaches in Nice were (uncomfortably composed of boulder like rocks that dig into your back, and) topless. So, when in France... I picked a spot in the middle of a large group topless women, so as not to stand out, and I released the party hats into the wild blue yonder, where they were exceptionally burned.
But really, the only racks I ever see are these perfect, C-Ho-esque, full, perfect boobs. I had no idea until I was in Nice that MOST women's chi chis are not Playboy quality! I am in the majority! Yay! I'm feeling very much like celebrating by exposing my breasts in public as much as possible from now on. Just thought I'd share that with you! I love you guys and miss you tons! I'll be back soon...get you're dancing shoes on!
w/love,
Summer
