I am...IRON MAN!!!

I feel it is my duty as a contributing member of this society to tell you that you MUST see Iron Man in the theater. You owe it to yourself as well as the rest of humanity to go forth and enjoy the living shit out of this movie. It is so wheeeeeeee that I actually caught myself shrieking with glee at the movies. And like, nobody around me even cared because we were all so engrossed in the raging kick assery of Robert Downy Jr. and omg, yes…even Gwyneth. I have been kinda meh on her for a while, but she was actually funny! I didn't know this was possible!

I feel like there is something supernatural about this film because all the elements came together so well. I mean, even The Dude is in it! As we were walking out, I turned to Daniel and said, I don't want to sound crazy or anything, but I think this might be the new Mummy. And that, my babies, is a bold statement, because The Mummy is the most fun hokum-adventure movie of all time ever, and we watch it with an unhealthy frequency.

Now keep in mind that it's a Marvel movie, so I'm sure it's not as thought provoking or vagina strangling as the one about the exploration of complex global intersections between Islamic extremists and cat raping. I just know I go to the movies to have fun, not to cry so hard that I have to leave the theater for phear of hyperventilation.

Oh, and plus...Tony Stark is The Uber Hawtness:

Photoshop Phun Time

What with my recent rage about all these repulsive, bad-receding-hairline-cover-up hair styles and all, that we should bring it back old school and bust out the mullet:



If you wanna play, just superimpose bitches into the picture of these unfortunate souls, or the mulleted ones into other hilarious situations and post it in the comments. If not, you are inferior and my spawn will consume your spawn one day. Bwa ha ha ha!

The Mellets. Large hair never looked so good!


The Hillet. I really feel that this look would help her in the polls.


Ah, I amuse me.

For Lizzard

Lizzardo,

You have my deepest sympathies on this tragic and sucky day:



I'm sorry that you won't get to motorboat ScarJo's face-punching cleavage now that she's marrying Some Guy I've Never Heard of. You were clearly the better choice what with your superlative butt and superiorly brilliant accomplishments. It's really her loss, dear, and nobody will never forgive her. Unless she shows nipple. Then we'll think about it.

Encouraging (but slightly gropey) pats and condolences,

Summie

No. Oh Dear GOD, Nooooooo!

It has spread. The plague known as Kylie's 1997 Haircut has reached from its tiny pool of fake-rockers to the vast ocean of legitimate artists! Everybody hide the scissors!

Why, Thom Yorke, why? Why have you done this to me? Here I am, bitching predjudicely about how shitty that haircut is, and like three days later, you do this to me:



Are you mad at me? Or is this because you're kinda balding? Is this the new look for masking the receding hair-line? Because I'm here to tell you that we can all still see it. We can ALWAYS see when you try to hide it.

Don't be ashamed of your hairline, Thom. Go with it! Just say fuck it and shave that shit off! Be proud of your head and display it with the confidence of those that have come before you. Those such as prime alpha male Bruce Willis. Because, dude...bald men are HOT. Like, ragingly-I-wanna-slap-your-head-around deliciously hot.

But whatever you do...don't allow yourself to look like David Cook. Go with Bruce, young one:



Cuddles,
Summie