So I was on a conference call, right? And the call leader decided to give us five minutes to read over something lame, and so we were sitting in silence with our phones on speaker. We were all working from home because of the sucky roads, so I was on the couch festering in my blankies, when Dan chose this totally opportune time to bust downstairs from his office/lair. He snaked over to me and greeted me with one of my many bizarre nicknames, "Poo Poo Symptom!" Loudly. Oh my GOD it was louder than whale exploding.
I slapped at the phone, hit mute and shrieked, DUDE! I’m on mothereffing speaker! And we totally laughed like 3rd graders. I only wish the bitches on the phone would have shared in the giggle, but they just sat in uncomfortable silence. Hee hee!
Ahh, professionalism rocks socks.
Wheelchair Rebecca
Posted in on by
An oldie, but a goodie. I can’t ever decide which is my favorite, but I think today, I’m leaning towards the "horse" explanation. I can’t wait to do this shit to my kids!!
Wheelchair Rebecca
Wheelchair Rebecca
Save Me
Posted in on by
Somebody, please, for the love of fuck, kidnap me. Call in and make a Cloverfield moster threat. Anything to get me outta here!
All day, I sit in classes I've already taken. I listen to self-important idiots fellate themselves on their drinking of the Kool-aid. Seriously, y'all. One of them is this freak of nature with the Hugest Man-Ass in North America, only with this face:
Are you with me yet on how much I want to stab out my eyes? So if you hear of anything open for a tech writer, please. Let the hiring manager know that I can suck a golf ball through a garden hose and pass along my resume.
All day, I sit in classes I've already taken. I listen to self-important idiots fellate themselves on their drinking of the Kool-aid. Seriously, y'all. One of them is this freak of nature with the Hugest Man-Ass in North America, only with this face:
Are you with me yet on how much I want to stab out my eyes? So if you hear of anything open for a tech writer, please. Let the hiring manager know that I can suck a golf ball through a garden hose and pass along my resume.
I Got Laid…
Posted in on by
Laid off that is! ;)
It was a huge surprise to get shit canned yesterday, but you know, who cares, really. I have taken more impressive shits than the job I had, and plus, my boss was a pig of a man with bitch tits and peg-like teeth. *shudders* So no real loss anyway.
The good news is that even though they eliminated my position, I am one of the "lucky ones" who was offered another job in a different department in lieu of a severance package. I'm so gonna show up to this new job on Monday with a smile on my face and an buttload of other companies to contact. I'm more than happy to job-hunt on their dime!
It was a huge surprise to get shit canned yesterday, but you know, who cares, really. I have taken more impressive shits than the job I had, and plus, my boss was a pig of a man with bitch tits and peg-like teeth. *shudders* So no real loss anyway.
The good news is that even though they eliminated my position, I am one of the "lucky ones" who was offered another job in a different department in lieu of a severance package. I'm so gonna show up to this new job on Monday with a smile on my face and an buttload of other companies to contact. I'm more than happy to job-hunt on their dime!
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