Chunders

We were at Record Bar last night, preparing to have our minds rocked by my new favorite band, Poradova, when the delightful Miss Lizzard invited me to go shopping for locally designed lingerie. This sounds like a blast because what kind of ineffectual sloth doesn't want bangin' one-of-a-kind panties and trashy hot bras, all while supporting local business? I mean, who would want to wear giant, cotton underpants that could be tucked under one's armpits, right?


Heh. Well, you know. What are you gonna do? I LOVE them! I love the ones that come in a package of six and have disco paisley patterns! I love being free from even the threat of a wedgie because they come down to your mid-thighs! I love it that in the event of being flung from an airplane, I am totally packing a parachute over my buns. They're just so AWESOME!

I know they're fugly, but I refuse to conform to undergarment fashion that isn't spectacularly comfortable. My ass is too superb to suffer for style.