Take a Freaking Picture!

Have you ever been just hanging out and minding your own business, when suddenly, you notice that someone is staring at you?

This totally happened to me today as I was strolling along after a super giant lunch, feeling all happy and pleasantly full, though perhaps not agreeable enough to suck in my gut whilst walking. So I'm tra la la-ing when I notice that the lady walking towards me is staring at my midsection. Like, as if I had a horse rapist growing out of my belly button. And I was all, WHAT, bitch?! What the fuck are you looking at? You like my goddamn pooch?! I will SMOTHER you with it! But instead of saying this out loud, I just stared right back at her stupid face. I damn near had to walk backwards to keep looking at her fug mug when she finally realized that she is not, in fact, invisible, and that I had seen her staring at my flab like a creepy doll.

I hope she was embarrassed for getting busted. She so should be! What kind of grown woman stares at people, let along isn't savvy enough to be subtle about it? Blechh.

I should eat her soul.