Superstar!!!

It blows my mind that celebrities are so...uh...celebrated. I'm just sayin', what the hell did Britney Spears ever do besides be cute and wiggle, like, 10 years ago? And Lohan?! Since when is snorting blow and smoking more pole than a hippie making bongs out of strip club furniture admirable activity?

I'm not saying I don't enjoy voyeuristically reading up on the gossip, but dude. Shouldn't we be holding the actually valuable members of society up on high? Like what about garbage men? Or peeps in sanitary waste management? Can you imagine what things would be like if we didn't have those cats around? Yeesh!

Some celebs seem much more ok than others, like Alyssa Milano. She's totally the type of chica I could drink beer and talk about boys with. And Joss Stone too. I'd make her do karaoke with me every week at DB's. I would also be friends with Conan O'Brien because don't you know he and his wife are super funny and chill? Also, I'd love to be friends with Justin Timberlake, but only so we could all go dancing with him. Hooray!