Whoops.

Have you ever gotten kinda drunk and like, forgotten your audience? Say, for instance, you’re playing a friendly round of "I Never" and pose the following truth: I’ve never banged three or more people at this table. In front of your sig other. And they DRINK.

Evidently, I did something similar during a particularly rowdy night out. Somebody brought up this girl that I just can’t stand and I completely went off on a melodramatic rant. Viciously. Like, "Oh my god, I hate her ass, she is such a troll. I mean, seriously, she has sick cankles and most closely resembles Teddy Ruxpin. I want to rip off her face and eat it with salsa!" All of this and more...in front of her best friend.

What’s even more awesome, is that I totally forgot that this even happened and had to be told later what a huge dick I was. Tee hee! Oops. But whatever. I wish I had been more subtle in front of the bitch’s friend, but lemme just tell you something. If someone said even a fraction of what I let loose about my best friend, I would have smeared their ass all over the bar. So I stand by it and say fuck it! Hooray!