Eye Socket to Me!
1:44 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Well, I had the LASIK consultation. I busted in, took out my contacts, and stumbled around trying not to run screaming out of there while they probed me and scared the living tits out of me (a difficult feat, being as I have none) by telling me all the gory details about the surgery. Then they showed me a video. Cuz you know, nothing makes you want to sign up to have your eyes sliced open than a graphic documentary of someone else’s gooey, sick, gelatinous cornea being zapped.
I sat there in a tightly coiled ball, ready to spring from the chair, straight out the window until I met The Coolest Nurse EvAR who totally talked me off the ledge. She told me about how I would feel during the procedure, which is what I needed to know, because the hideous part for me is not the minimal chance of a complication, but having my eyelids propped open with like, toothpicks and staying conscious while bitches are cutting on my eyes.
Anyway, she helped me picture what how it was gonna go down, and kindly informed me that I would be given a Valium. From what I hear, after I pop that bad boy, I won’t give a flying shit through a rolling doughnut about what they do to my eyeballs. Whee!
I sat there in a tightly coiled ball, ready to spring from the chair, straight out the window until I met The Coolest Nurse EvAR who totally talked me off the ledge. She told me about how I would feel during the procedure, which is what I needed to know, because the hideous part for me is not the minimal chance of a complication, but having my eyelids propped open with like, toothpicks and staying conscious while bitches are cutting on my eyes.
Anyway, she helped me picture what how it was gonna go down, and kindly informed me that I would be given a Valium. From what I hear, after I pop that bad boy, I won’t give a flying shit through a rolling doughnut about what they do to my eyeballs. Whee!
