Bacon Dress

I often like to think about what it would be like if we were all suddenly transported back to hunter-gatherer times. You know, when people had to fight to survive, contribute to the greater good of the community, and generally be productive members of society.

I usually indulge in this daydream while trying to enjoy a movie at the theater, and some creephole is talking/eating/texting loudly during a film that I paid $12 freaking dollars to watch. Listen here, twat. You would have to pay ME to listen to your insipid teeny-bopper conversations, so shut. The hell. UP. Oh my God. I should kick the living crap out of you. Twice!

Gaah! And it’s so unfair to me that I would be the one to get in trouble for beating the sanchez out of these rude asses. Like, I am just trying to restore social order here. They are the ones that can’t function in public.

Throughout like every other time in humanity, some awesome alpha would have pwned a d-bag like that for being so disruptive. And as a result, everyone else would be able to continue enjoying themselves, applaud and possibly reward said alpha with gratuitous nookie, and other potential d-bags would watch this vicious beating take place and think, dang. I guess I better shut the eff up, huh?

Stupid modern laws.