Eugenix
12:16 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
Genealogy rocks. Ok, well maybe it's totally lame, but I'm on this inexplicable kick to find all of my ancestors as humanly possible.
It's funny though because the process you have to use to find your gene pool bitches is to look by the daddy's last name. This seems pretty retarded to me because like, we all KNOW who the mama is…but daddy can be, how shall I put this delicately? Uh, the damn medicine man! So here I am pouring over this huge volume of information when maybe my bloodline doesn't really go all the way back to King James of Scotland (which clearly, it totally does) and maybe instead goes to Vlad the Impaler. Which would pwn, actually.
Which leads me to my most grotesque line of thinking; holy shit! What if I find out like, Dan and I are somehow related? I mean I'm just sayin, one time I accidentally went on a blind date with a dude who turned out to be my second cousin, which was largely hot, but, you know. Incestuous.
So on that disturbing note, I leave you with photos of the superior genes that produced such a magnificent specimen of humanity such as myself.
(And possibly my boyfriend. Mmmm oooooh yeaaaaah! )
Maternal great-great grandparents (and random mooch) chugging moonshine:
Note the fancy necklace with the easy-access hole in her dress combo. Now you see where I get my fashion sense and alcoholism. Tee hee!
Paternal great-uncle, Great-Grandpa and Grandpa being all great and pimp-like on 18th and Brookelyn in KC, MO. You know, before it was the ghetto:
Maternal great-grandparents working the super cereal serious faces:
Grandma Toni bringin' sexy back to tha chicken coop:
Ma with her adorable giant hair and Pa bustin' out the 5-0:
It's a wonder I haven't set my own face on fire with all this hawtness flowing through my veins.
It's funny though because the process you have to use to find your gene pool bitches is to look by the daddy's last name. This seems pretty retarded to me because like, we all KNOW who the mama is…but daddy can be, how shall I put this delicately? Uh, the damn medicine man! So here I am pouring over this huge volume of information when maybe my bloodline doesn't really go all the way back to King James of Scotland (which clearly, it totally does) and maybe instead goes to Vlad the Impaler. Which would pwn, actually.
Which leads me to my most grotesque line of thinking; holy shit! What if I find out like, Dan and I are somehow related? I mean I'm just sayin, one time I accidentally went on a blind date with a dude who turned out to be my second cousin, which was largely hot, but, you know. Incestuous.
So on that disturbing note, I leave you with photos of the superior genes that produced such a magnificent specimen of humanity such as myself.
(And possibly my boyfriend. Mmmm oooooh yeaaaaah! )
Maternal great-great grandparents (and random mooch) chugging moonshine:
Note the fancy necklace with the easy-access hole in her dress combo. Now you see where I get my fashion sense and alcoholism. Tee hee!
Paternal great-uncle, Great-Grandpa and Grandpa being all great and pimp-like on 18th and Brookelyn in KC, MO. You know, before it was the ghetto:
Maternal great-grandparents working the super cereal serious faces:
Grandma Toni bringin' sexy back to tha chicken coop:
Ma with her adorable giant hair and Pa bustin' out the 5-0:
It's a wonder I haven't set my own face on fire with all this hawtness flowing through my veins.
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