Blechhh!!
12:14 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
GROSS! Sick sick sick!
This makes me want to barf up a teaspoon of burning bile into my own mouth to scald out the shame. Seriously, y’all; why is it that only hideous celebrities make sex tapes?! Why can’t it ever be Scarlett Johansson or like, Johnny Depp? (Uh, both featuring ME, while we’re wishing in one hand and shitting in the other…)
Oh, and nice flip flops, skank. But I guess I, too, would have to leave on all possible rubber protection. Hell, I would require a HazMat® suit and a preemptive tracheal intubation to even think about French kissing Gene Simmons, cuz I’m pretty sure he’s the spawn of an unholy three-way with a proboscis, a wild boar, and a fringy leather jacket.
I think Jake expertly summed it up when she said:
"When I see him in interviews today, he repulses me like a blow pop found under the benches at a roller skating rink, covered in hair and lint from 1983."
I couldn’t agree more. :D
This makes me want to barf up a teaspoon of burning bile into my own mouth to scald out the shame. Seriously, y’all; why is it that only hideous celebrities make sex tapes?! Why can’t it ever be Scarlett Johansson or like, Johnny Depp? (Uh, both featuring ME, while we’re wishing in one hand and shitting in the other…)
Oh, and nice flip flops, skank. But I guess I, too, would have to leave on all possible rubber protection. Hell, I would require a HazMat® suit and a preemptive tracheal intubation to even think about French kissing Gene Simmons, cuz I’m pretty sure he’s the spawn of an unholy three-way with a proboscis, a wild boar, and a fringy leather jacket.
I think Jake expertly summed it up when she said:
"When I see him in interviews today, he repulses me like a blow pop found under the benches at a roller skating rink, covered in hair and lint from 1983."
I couldn’t agree more. :D
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